My little week

This has been an interesting little week.

(haha. My friend Irby and I just finished talking about how the word interesting can be very ambiguous. One may use it when describing something negatively, while not wanting to sound mean or judgmental. . .because "interesting" isn't necessarily bad, right?
. . .
So anyways, here is me in the last week:

* I had a flat tire the other night, but thankfully my friend Kevin was with me and so we parked the car, laughed it off and decided to walk back home (about 4 miles or so) instead of paying for a cab. Alternatively, we stopped in to a little pub along the way and spent our money on whiskey. It was worth it. And although our ability to walk in a straight line became less fine-tuned, the journey become a hell of a lot more fun.

* That same night, my retarded ass put the wrong soap in the dishwasher and it started overflowing with bubbles. . .like forever. It didn't stop. Eternity maybe. Infinitude.
ok you get the point.

*I have felt really trapped and not myself. Or maybe too much of myself which has made me feel trapped which makes me not myself..
I don't know. crap. :) I just want to get away from this little box I feel that I am in, and my dreams have me aligning with that notion as well. . .things chasing me and being locked in and not being able to get out. It's quite awful, actually, however nonchalant as it may sound now. The worst part about the dreams is that I have this really fatalist-like approach in them, as if it were my destiny to be tortured and so in many cases I don't fight the evil. I simply accept that this disturbance is my fate. I don't like that. And in my waking life, I don't hold to that apathetic mentality, but when your subconscious and conscious merge like mine have been lately, you learn a lot more about how you 'really' feel as opposed to what you've been telling yourself in order to feel ok.
I guess for that reason alone, I've been happy for these um . . .dreams, nightmares?
But otherwise, I want them gone.

*My good friends Marcella and Rob went off to Boston randomly this last weekend. They are awesome for just spontaneously going, but I miss them!!!

*I am having some major Bank/possible fraud/why or did I write that check? issues. . .it's a mess, but I'm not getting upset about it. Instead, I am finding solutions. :)
. . .

*I love riding the motorcycle with my friend Kevin. (Actually it's one of my favorite things in the world.) . . .buuut. . .riding in 95 degree weather with a very well insulated helmet was not the greatest today.
Truth be told.
I was sweaty and it was gross.

*I have become a "lazybum" these last few weeks (as my dad would call it.) That will not continue. See, my problem is that I hate to work out at the gym. But I love to dance, ride my bike, play frisbee, raquetball and swim...you know fun things, but for whatever reason--whether rain or plans or working. . .those haven't been as available. Bad excuse, I know.

Ok so now I'm getting off my lazybum and going out!

Loves

The most important things. . .

The most important things are the hardest things to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them - words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they're brought out. But it's more than that, isn't it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you've said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it. That's the worst, I think. When the secret stays locked within not for want of a teller, but for want of an understanding ear.

Sleeping with random items I buy

I like to sleep with new random items that I buy. I do.

I've shared this fetish with only a few people. (is this qualified to be a fetish??)

Yes, I have slept with a lamp. (But it was a cool vintage one, so it's acceptable.)
. . .not the most comfortable bed buddy, but it was still worth it. ;)

And if I don't sleep with the item, I have to have it in my clear visual line because if I should wake through the night, I am adamant about having to see my beloved item before me without any turning or complication.

Such as shoes.

I put those close.

It might be a disease. But I don't need prozac, and its pretty under control. So, I don't worry about it much.

I don't dance with these items, though. (wow. Some of you are like, "thank God.". . .)

or do I?

"Ya wouldn't know!!!"

hehehe

So my theory behind this malingering wonder. . .is this:

I am somewhat superficial (despite my profound nature. . haha.)

and

I like cool stuff.

kay.

that is my deep pondering/psychoanalasyis for the evening.
All other comments or questions must be directed to me

below.

Yours truly,

Shanaramic